Friday, October 19, 2001

I don't know what's wrong with me, I haven't been this angry for as long as I can remember. It's just sitting and stewing in my guts, waiting for a chance to leap up out of my throat and do some damage and I don't like it. It's not really ME.

It makes me madder that it's possible to turn me from a good mood to this mad with only one sentence. I know what this is, this is manic/agressive. I've not had this since I Was 17. Woooo, don't you just feel so SPECIAL? I have to get out of here, go smoke a cigarette, bang my fists agains a wall, SOMETHING. Just to clear out the awful frustration that I've let someone hurt me this much.

I suppose I should have know I'd get like this sometime, and it's nowhere near as bad as it's been before, there's still a couple other threads of thought running, I'm still aware of my surroundings. Like the fact that I'm sitting next to a stranger, and I hope she doesn't look over because I don't know what my face looks like right know, but I'm pretty sure I'm not exactly projecting happy contented vibes.

And as fast as I can type about it, it passes. But I'm leaving this up, as a reminder, though to whom I'm not sure. You probably know who you are.

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