You know it's not good when an Afghan Whigs line strikes a strong chord with a past relationship:
"And please allow me to present you with a clue: if I inflict the pain, then baby only I can comfort you..."
If you're wondering what that's all about, I've been thinking a lot about my past behaviour patterns, and I realised that though it is essential in a relationship to be able to depend on your partner when you need it, or to call them at 3am when you've had a bad dream and need a reality check, this cannot be the foundation of a healthy relationship, because it essentialy builds on weaknesses and insecurities.
It's hard to put a finger on why I'm so happy now, but a lot of it seems to come down to the fact that our relationship is based on conversation, friendship and mutual interests, besides remarkably similar life outlooks. On enriching an already pretty decent life, not on being the only thing that can bring happiness to an otherwise dark and dank existance.
I don't know what it was that made the other kind seem acceptable, beyond the fact that at first it genuinely did help...I just hope I never get back to that place again.