Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Freeway driving. Eeeeeep. OK, it's not actually as terrifying as I thought my first foray into 60+mph traffic would be, but I was lucky, it was traf-FIC, not traf-FUCK.

I'm doing ok with all the principles, I just need more practice, I'll have to figure out a way to do that, and sort out what car I'm taking the test in. The guy that's teaching me will let you do the test in his car, but I have no idea when I'll be READY to do the test. The sooner the better, and I'm not far off really, I just need more driving time. Another thing: that "no hand over hand" thing they teach in the UK, it's CRAP, you make turns so much more smoothly by just moving one hand from one side to the other, no little push/pull movements. We finally figured out that was my biggest problem. Right turns too, because even though a left turn crosses traffic, I'm more used to making the car go to the left from learning in the UK and doing the "easy" turns there. I will try to subject Granny to my driving a couple times over Thanksgiving, that way I'll also be trying out a bigger car. Not exactly a land boat, but getting there.

As far as the rest of my life goes, I'll be very glad when I finally do have a car and I can do my own thing. It's not just that I know I'm getting underfoot and adding to the tension by my lack on independence, it's that the option of truly buggering off for a bit, going off for a drive, or just going somewhere for coffee by myself, isn't open to me, because to do that I have to cadge a ride, which defeats the purpose of me time. It's that whole house arrest feeling. I think it gets to me more because it feels too much like how I was in London, where walking to the local stores was fine, but if I tried to head out to the subway station to go into town prob=per, or into college, I was too panicky to even get to the end of my street. So even though this immobility is more from external sources, the echoes of my behavior when I was depressed make it worse than it really is sometimes. There's nothing that can change about it immediately, I'm doing the driving lessons and that's the way to go, it's just the most frustrating thing about not being fully mobile here. If it were only a question of getting to work, I'd be fine with the bus, it's cheaper, but going anywhere involves a car here.

It seems like no-one is happy with the status quo, usually being unhappy with something does bugger all to change it, but this status quo will not be quo for very long. Gargh, that's a horrible sentence. But you know what I mean. (hint: it's getting better all the time)

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