In many ways my position could be seen as roughly parallel to that of a recent divorcee, though I am much more fortunate than many in that situation. I don't have completely crap credit for one, I just have none. But I am learning to think of myself as an individual (again) and realising what's important to me. I also have the whole "newly graduated" life adjustment to make. No more exams and essays, now it's job seeking, flat seeking, and figuring out how I'm going to pay for it all...which leads back to job seeking. Once I get one of them sorted the others will become easier, though I'll have a few problems trying to buy a car with a blank credit history and no job!
I thought that I was doing well, and I guess realistically I am, but I didn't expect to be crying so much. I'm getting upset more often than I was even when I felt there was no going forward. It's a very different kind of crying though, it's just a way to vent the pressure, and the emotions that built up over the past months of going in the wrong direction. I'm learning the difference between normal tension and when it's time to start back on the meds (dahlink). It's hard to accept that being upset and tearful, even at random times, doesn't mean I'm on my way down again. There's a subtle difference in the things that run through my mind when I'm crying, even if I'm downright sobbing it doesn't feel so...desperate?
Is it because I know I'm finally on the right track? One of them anyway. I can actually look ahead and realistically see things working out. This time last year I was picturing myself being either in SD or Atlanta, looking for a job, but I didn't really believe it, it didn't feel real, because I couldn't honestly imagine what it would feel like.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you...Graduation, the best antidepressant of them all.