Wednesday, March 27, 2002

I got to play piano last night. Massacring my way through the moonlight sonata. DAMN I'm out of practice. I also got to try playing an accordion, I'm really not sure if I could get used to not being able to see my left hand, especially with all those damn buttons.

It was a nice evening, playing pool, then going back to meet his piano, having a cup of Earl Grey and being referred to as being "from the mother country" *giggle* Playing piano in front of a musician and not feeling particularly self concious about it.

In case you haven't guessed, that was another date. I'm not sure if it deserves inverted commas or not. I suppose I should get over using the D word. We had a pleasant time and neither of us is interested romantically, but it will be nice to know someone to have coffee with and maybe learna couple of duets for practice. Anyway, Bob the musical physicist, mathematical composer, pseudo-irish waveform manipulator. Maybe I should think up better pseudonyms for people.
I guess I should report on coffee with Tim, I emailed him on Monday but he's not emailed me since we met up, so I guess I didn't make a good impression. Pity, he was someone I'd really like to know more about, there seems to be an awful lot to know, he's someone who's done lots already and has creative drive and energy by the bucketload. I know that I was really nervous about the whole situation, not knowing what's generally expected, or how much I should be selling myself and how much I should "just be me", all that dumb dating crap. It probably didn't help that he was cute. Very cute. As in so cute 'Lia took 15 minutes to get over it. K'wyn asked me if I managed to avoid inserting "Wow, you're cute" into any of my sentences. As far as I know, I did avoid that particular Bridget Jones-ism.

*sigh* I was really looking forward to seeing his work studio and maybe trying to make something, even if it wasn't the bed I keep planning. Plan B: take metalworking classes at UCSD's Grove and figure it out for myself. I've already got more of an idea of an actual design forming, I need to collect some pictures of beds I like and start making sketches.

Meanwhile this quarter coming up will be creative B&W photography. Assuming the class isn't already full, then maybe I will take beginning metalwork.

Friday, March 22, 2002

I feel like I can't remember anyone's face until I've photographed them. Until then it's just a general impression of colouring, the only vivid image is their eyes. When I have a photograph I've taken, especially if I develop it myself, their face becomes a detailed map in my memory. When I remember people I've known for years, I still picture the photos I have seen of them before I actually see them. A good photograph captures the physical attibutes in a way that links them to the person contained therin. It's always the person more than the casing to me, maybe a photograph is the only way to make the outside seem real.
Welcome to UCSD village.

Not only did 'Lia and K'wyn come to the starbucks for their studying fuel (they'd already planned it, it wasn't a plot to check up on me) but another friend of ours spotted me sitting with an unknown (and attractive) male and immediately called my roomies for information. Small world, gotta love it.

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Lab work can be ridiculously boring when you're only running one thing, and it requires regular 1 hour incubation times.
Meeep. I now live in fear. Rohan's started flinging glassware at my bench. Or at least shoving it through the shelves between our benches. Of course he then very carefully swept it all up and wouldn't let me walk back to my desk until he'd swept, cause I'm wearing sandals. I detect a design flaw in this shelving back-to-back system...

Yucky blogger hasn't let me on much this week.

Tonight I have a coffee "date" to meet Tim the ceramic sculptor/metalworker/biotech admin guy. Never mind letting me learn some basics from him, he wants to help me make the bedstead I keep planning for myself. With copper leaves and everything. We'll see. Oh, and it's "date" not DATE cause we ahve arranged a time and place to meet, it's not an actual date. You know what I mean.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Hey, we made it through the weekend without char su bau. though I guess that doesn't really count because we did go to Sam Woo for Orange Chicken.
I ended up leaving work around 8pm on Friday, but it worked out perfectly as I got home just as the Corned Beef was ready to eat. Vincenzo clearly was impressed that I stayed to try to rescue some data, and asked me if I wanted to go for pizza with him and his wife when we were done. The only time pizza is tempting is when it's offered by an Italian. I also knew that he was going to be going to the confocal microscope after I had done the slides, and my "reward" for staying till 8 would probably be getting to stay till after 9 before getting fed. But it's the thought that counts.

Friday, March 15, 2002


As if my day weren't crummy enough, the staining I've been working on all day failed miserably and I'm re-doing it speedy-stylee. Which still means staying in work until something like 7pm, and leaving poor K'wyn to fend for herself with the Corned Beef. Let's hope the kitchen is kinder to her than the lab has been to me today.

Yes, I did get the option to go home, but it's not very professional of me to run away home and leave Vincenzo without any data. This is the slides from the experiment I started the set up for a MONTH ago. I don't want to just shrug and go home to my authentic Irish farm-hand's dinner. Well, I do want to, but I'm not going to.
I suppose I should add that this eviction really doesn't seem to be something he brought on himself. His landlord has changed the terms.
Court date moved back, but he's getting evicted (again). Just to put this in perspective, this would have been my life had I stayed in Atlanta. an email saying "not in jail yet, may be by end of the month"

He's appealing? With a hope in hell of getting off? Or he's planning to flee the state? That sounds more like his style. Get away with it any way you can. Ends justify the means. No question about it, that boy would be Slytherin all the way.

I know that he was aware of the ramifications of his behaviour, and he chose to do it anyway. Logically I know that he's made his own bed. Am I only concerned because I helped him pay for the sheets?

Thursday, March 14, 2002

Is it over the top to consider it potentially worth driving to Idaho just for a hug?

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

I'm going quietly nuts. This really shouldn't bother me any more but it does. Loki's got a court date today for being caught driving an uninsured, unregistered vehicle with his liscence revoked a few years ago. It was revoked a few years ago that is, he was caught driving more recently. Oh, and it was revoked becasue he was caught driving with no insurance.

When I mentioned this to the other faeries they blithely stated that he was going to go to jail. Probably directly from the courthouse. It might actually be the best thing that can happen to him, but I doubt it. I find myself worrying about him not having his affairs in order, or any of his things packed up for long term storage. He'll lose every possesion, and no-one will look after Kit. She'll be fine, she'll find someone to feed her, but no matter how much he used me I don't want him to lose everything again, he lost so much when he was homeless.

There's nothing I can do. I feel like I invested so much in him, not just financially, and it made it easier to deal with that I saw some evidence of him doing somewhat better than he was when I first met him. Actually managing to find a new, cheaper place and so forth, not letting himself end up homeless (again). This could be an entirely selfish worry that I don't want to be someone who's ex is in jail. I'm sure that is a factor, but it pains me so much to see people waste themselves, and he truly has. Any charges that can be brought against him are things he had complete control over whether he did them or not. That should make it easier to get over, but it makes it harder. It's frustrating, to see someone I know is not stupid make such stupid short-sighted choices.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see. If he skips the court date then I can just be mad at him for being an idiot again. Why doesn't that sound like a happy alternative any more?

I have only one thing to say this morning: Thanks for the synchronised swimmers K'wyn...

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Wow, when I said that introspection makes your head hurt, I didn't mean it in the literal sense.

*sigh* As long as I get some good pie-charts out of it I guess it's ok.

Monday, March 11, 2002

Contrary to K'wyn's assignation of blame, I did not start the Friday afternoon which character are you was ALL Radiskull's fault.

So there.

Friday, March 08, 2002

Lunch. Then RIMAC. Then mice. Then home. Then Movie.
Ooooh, Radiskull really knows how to flatter a girl...she pointed out that my D&D character is basically Legolas. Hell if I can't have him, I might as well aspire to be him.

Kick-ass Elven archer. With unrealistically dark eyebrows.

Now where did I leave my longbow?
Teehee. It is Friday after all...
I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Bard

Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have
little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally
well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently
conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to
the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to
keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy,
and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye,
the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from
intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with
green fletchings.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?,
courtesy of src='' align='absmiddle' width='17'> target='mt'>NeppyMan (e-mail)

I have no idea why that link isn't appearing properly, it shows up fine in the blog editing window.

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Oh oh oooh!!

NEENER NEENER Thhbbbbbbpppppppp!

I just remembered that someone doesn't have the url now I've moved my blog. Cue uninhibited bitching? I don't think so, there's very little to be gained at this stage. I've done my venting, both to him, my friends, and here. (See November 17th [>] )

Now it's more important to focus on what I can learn about myself from all this, especially to set up some rules and boundaries for myself. Most people in my situation have to work on getting comfortable with the concept of relationships, for some reason I went the other way, and am altogether way too comfortable with intimacy, and it's gotten me in over my head before I realise I'm not happy with the situation. Hence the introspection report. With Pie Charts. Probably not going to be published here though, so don't hold your breath.

Well, ok, here's one I'll give away for free: I am not going to enter into a relationship with someone who is unable to look after themselves financially. No, that doesn't mean they have to be well off, it means they have to be able to get by day to day and month to month without beg/borrow/stealing to make ends meet.
God Bless the mortal who installed a coffee machine in the lab. I'm saved.
I don't know how I let this happen to me. I've run out of caffienated coffee.

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

My roomate has finally gone completely round the bend.

Refer to K'wyn's rants for evidence of this voyage into the unknown land of Agent Kyrwyn, Coffee Consumer.

Uh-oh...I just realised it's all my fault.

I had tea this morning, so she had to take up the slack in the coffee quota for the day.
My head hurts.

In the good way though.

Yes there is a good way.

My brain really is starting to wake up, thanks to being around truly bright people who are fun to talk to (until 3am on a work night I might add, and still worth the dark circles) Unfortunately my brain waking up means I'm thinking more, which has always been a terrible terrible thing you see. I wish I has a dollar for every time I've been told my problems would be solved if only I stopped thinking about them. For a nice change I've realised that the solution is not to shut it off and "stop thinking so much" but to think more.

Woohoo...permission to introspect sir? Permission granted, but I want to see positive results this time young lady. Structured results to be specific. In a report. With pie charts.

Friday, March 01, 2002

Yay weekend.

Yay payday.

Boo spending too much this month.

Yay being in the black anyway.

Yay ability to (theoretically) save up money for stuff.

Boo not getting to spend it while I'm saving it....



I don't know what it was, but my swim last night was great. Maybe I finally managed to get a proper rhythm going or something. I was exhausted after 15laps, but that's respectable enough, I used to swim 1000m a couple times a week, and 15 laps is about 750m. So I'm not that far off.

I've never had the rumoured endorphin rush from exercise, my sister gets it frequently apparently, but I'm very sure she does way more intensive workouts than I do. I've been hyper as hell after a toning class, but with the cardiovascular stuff I collapse before I get past the wall. I'm such a wimp.

Meh, I'm still losing weight at a good pace, so I'm happy.